manny
07-17-2004, 07:22 AM
SETTING AN EXAMPLE
Lion Agrees to Lay Down With Lamb
NAIROBI (AP) -- A leading lion activist has agreed to set an example for his fellow felines by cozying up to his traditional prey.
At the mature age of 13, Aslan has seen more than his share of fighting in the jungles of Kenya. "To borrow a human expression, it's like a nagging wife I can't get rid of."
Aslan learned English with the help of his capable Kenyan instructor, Mujo Mobuto. Mobuto, an animal trainer by trade, remains stunned at the prodigious lion's interest in European philosophy. "Dat muddafugga be speakin' English betta dan we bruthaz do. Wuz up wit dat? I lay some Yur Uh Peein' books down and dat mug be chewin' 'em all up. Dayyyyam!"
Aslan has acquired a special interest in European Enlightenment thinking, having adopted a belief in 'rights' whose origin is historically situated in that culture and era. "This philosophy makes me happy. There is too much meanness and violence in nature. Some ask: 'Why can't we all just get along?' I say: we need to learn to love one another. And the only way we can do this is to develop our faculties of reason. We need to learn the value of rationalism."
Baaahba Bu, the young lamb refugee with whom Aslan wishes to lay, remains distrustful of the lion's intentions. Unfortunately, Ms Bu has been unable to learn English in order to express her doubts. But a teary-eyed interpreter puts it this way: "Old prejudices die hard. It's not really rational, but some mammals still harbor the backward belief that carnivores are only capable of killing and devouring. But thanks to brave lions like Aslan, we know that carnivores are more than capable of building bridges. We put Baaahba on some tranquilizer; that should help her adjust. Now excuse me, I'm late for my daughter's Bat Mitzvah."
In a move surprising to some, civil rights leader Rev. Jesse Jackson has denounced the whole experiment. "People be sayin' that lions needs to have the same rights black folks have. What the hell is this world comin' to? Billions of colored folks is starving and dying of AIDS, and we'ze worried 'bout some muddafuggin' lions? Get a grip and recognize, peeps. And remember that black people get eaten by lions every year."
Neither Aslan nor the Republic of Kenya had any comment regarding Rev. Jackson's remarks.
Lion Agrees to Lay Down With Lamb
NAIROBI (AP) -- A leading lion activist has agreed to set an example for his fellow felines by cozying up to his traditional prey.
At the mature age of 13, Aslan has seen more than his share of fighting in the jungles of Kenya. "To borrow a human expression, it's like a nagging wife I can't get rid of."
Aslan learned English with the help of his capable Kenyan instructor, Mujo Mobuto. Mobuto, an animal trainer by trade, remains stunned at the prodigious lion's interest in European philosophy. "Dat muddafugga be speakin' English betta dan we bruthaz do. Wuz up wit dat? I lay some Yur Uh Peein' books down and dat mug be chewin' 'em all up. Dayyyyam!"
Aslan has acquired a special interest in European Enlightenment thinking, having adopted a belief in 'rights' whose origin is historically situated in that culture and era. "This philosophy makes me happy. There is too much meanness and violence in nature. Some ask: 'Why can't we all just get along?' I say: we need to learn to love one another. And the only way we can do this is to develop our faculties of reason. We need to learn the value of rationalism."
Baaahba Bu, the young lamb refugee with whom Aslan wishes to lay, remains distrustful of the lion's intentions. Unfortunately, Ms Bu has been unable to learn English in order to express her doubts. But a teary-eyed interpreter puts it this way: "Old prejudices die hard. It's not really rational, but some mammals still harbor the backward belief that carnivores are only capable of killing and devouring. But thanks to brave lions like Aslan, we know that carnivores are more than capable of building bridges. We put Baaahba on some tranquilizer; that should help her adjust. Now excuse me, I'm late for my daughter's Bat Mitzvah."
In a move surprising to some, civil rights leader Rev. Jesse Jackson has denounced the whole experiment. "People be sayin' that lions needs to have the same rights black folks have. What the hell is this world comin' to? Billions of colored folks is starving and dying of AIDS, and we'ze worried 'bout some muddafuggin' lions? Get a grip and recognize, peeps. And remember that black people get eaten by lions every year."
Neither Aslan nor the Republic of Kenya had any comment regarding Rev. Jackson's remarks.